this is my dull life. this is my dull life on drugs. this is a haiku.

Monday, March 14, 2005

Long time, no blog

Previously, I gave the impression that Burke formal was going to be ridiculous and, true to my word, it was ridiculous. Words of warning: this might be a long post...

Since my night is a little sketchy in the memory banks, the easiest way to go about explaining it is to use all the places in which I hurt as reference points as to the events of the evening. Here they are:
  1. Right knuckles
  2. Left arm
  3. Upper back
  4. Lower back
  5. Right palm

Numbers 1 and 2 can be explained by the idiotic competition that Laporte got into with a few people. Basically, it was exchanging punches for 15 minutes until someone made us all stop. Laporte would punch each of the competitors in the arm, then we would each punch him once. I have a rather large welt. At one point, I even told Rob Parsons to punch me in the shoulder. Thankfully for me, he wouldn't do it. For those who don't know Rob, I believe Mitch put it best: "If Rob had punched you, your arm would have turned to dust." And I have no doubt of this. Someone intentionally hit him in the knee with a car last term and when the driver got out to lay some more punches, Rob wrapped his scarf around the guy’s throat and started wailing on him. When an even bigger dude got out of the car, Rob (still with the scarf around the guy’s neck) used the guy as a human shield as the big dude tried to punch him, while punching around the shield guy. ALL WITH A DISLOCATED KNEE. Wow. That’s all I have to say…

My upper back (3) hurts from doing forward rolls down the hall of the lobby with Erin. I assume that there is a way to do a roll gracefully, but I know that it is not do-able when the alcoholic content of your body is probably somewhere near 80 proof…

My lower back hurts because when we got back to Burke, a bunch of people were hanging out in Laporte and Dennis’ room. Their room is pimped out. One of its features is a hammock suspended from one side to the other through holes that Laporte drilled in the concrete walls. The hammock was strong, the walls were strong, the hooks were not. Well, at least they were not Wayne-proof. Erin and I were in the hammock and Wayne started shaking it, so both hooks bent at the same time and we all plummeted to the floor. I’m amazed we survived, since it’s suspened with the hooks drilled in about a half a foot below the ceiling. And oh yeah, I landed on my brother, which leads me to the next point…

My right palm hurts from my brother and I doing power high-fives in the halls at like 2 AM. We’d run full speed down the hall toward one another, yelling at the top of our lungs and just LAY INTO a full-fledged high-five. It’s pretty painful…

And yeah, I feel I need to emphasize this: Getting trashed with my brother was wicked! You heard me Chris! He flew up from SJ for his march break, and it was a fuckin’ awesome time. I love you, brother! You better come here to university next year Chris…

The whole house got kicked out of the Hotel Saint John’s for doing some of the following: hot-boxing a bathroom, disturbing the other residents with noise level, Wayne almost getting in a fight with the hotel manager when he asked Wayne if he would like to “take it outside”, ripping a toilet off the wall, and forcing the catering staff to watch “dirty smut”. I take offence to that last one, cause that “smut” was the slideshow and it took a whole lot of damn time to make. Lemonparty.org may or may not have made an appearance…

I’m working on getting some free webspace so that I can post up some videos, so I’ll update on that it I can get it. So, in continuing the trend of ending every paragraph in ellipses…

UPDATE (6:12 am): Videos are in my Yahoo Briefcase, but since it’s only for private viewing, I’ll give you a name and password that I signed up for. The login is “greatbigllama” and the password is “password”. Knock yaself out; erase stuff if you wanna be a jerk, and you might as well add some gay porn while you’re at it, cause I already hate you. Later! Drats. The sun’s up.