this is my dull life. this is my dull life on drugs. this is a haiku.

Saturday, February 05, 2005

Burke House Drama???

Wow. So much shit happened last night! First off, before I say anything, I'd just like to let everyone know that I'm going to be completely objective in my explanation, because I am taking no sides on anything. And just since I always get "subjective" and "objective" mixed up, what I mean to say is that I’m going to be completely unbiased:

So let’s start off with that jerk Billy… I mean… so let’s start off with that nondescript individual whose name is Billy. Raylene and him broke up and he was mouthing off to Saralynn (recently broken up with Chad, Billy’s roommate) at the Breezeway so she punched him in the face. Raylene got super pissed at Saralynn (they’re sisters and roommates) and screamed a lot, said she hated Saralynn, smashed her (curling?) iron, and fractured her own wrist from hitting things. At one point, she also taped a line down the center of the room with duct tape. Keep in mind; this was while everyone was drunk, and this is NOT normal Raylene activity (Love ya if you’re reading this). Also at the Breezeway, Mitch (recently out of a long-term relationship with Lesleyanne, who is now maybe with Craig) made out with Rebecca (recently broken up with Kirk, after he “cheated” on her with Saralynn). Kirk almost punched Mitch at the Breezeway, and later came home piss-loaded drunk and there was a yelling match between him and Rebecca. Again, things are immensely better today and tension is not so high, and a lot of people felt stupid about what happened. I just find the complexity of the situation quite comical. Hurrah for drinking. Here is a simple diagram of the recent situation (It’s posted with the “OC for beginners” diagram for the sake of comparison. You decide which is more complicated.):

Woot! Bringing the drama of the Valley to Newfoundland…

So Coleman and I had another stupid conversation. If you got enough humidifiers to fill the floor of our room, would you be able to make weather??? I thought that maybe you could do it with warm-mist humidifiers on the floor and a layer of saran wrap through the center of the room so that the cold air would come into the top part of the room through the window. I figure if you quickly pulled away the saran wrap, a cloud would form where the warm humid air from below met the cold dry air from outside.

Coleman thought that it would only work in a small glass box. Then you could crawl inside and experience weather whenever you wanted. That was how he put it: you could “experience” weather. I found this very amusing for some reason.

Think that’s stupid? We once carried on a conversation about how if you were going to invest in the stock market, you should invest in dog-racing and time-travel, because I mean, how can you lose? It’s a win-win situation! If the time-travel industry picks up, no one’s going to bet anymore, but until then, people will continue to lose money gambling. We’ve all watched Back to the Future II, so don’t pretend you don’t know how it works.

So this morning was Snowfrolics, the first real events of winter carnival. Burke won 2nd in the egg toss and 2nd in the tug-of-war, even though we lost the sled pull. Just so ya know, in sled-pull your house builds a sled and races it. Our sled, the mighty and noble Tundra, was made of milk crates and bread trays that were stolen from outside dining hall. After the race was over, we dragged it back to Burke and pushed it down one of the monstrous hills that the snowplows had made, complete with lots of boulders and ice. And oh yeah, Tyler was riding in it. Bowater came over and did the same with their “sled” (pretty much just a stolen beer sign). I’ll upload some pictures of the video as soon as I capture it onto computer, cause it was awesome!

Anyway, back to studying and being devilishly handsome… Ok… I mean back to studying then…

* And PS -- If anyone is in any way offended by the "Burke for beginners" picture, just tell me and I'll change/remove it. Seriously. It is just supposed to be innocent, but if you don't think so, I'll take it off no prob :)