this is my dull life. this is my dull life on drugs. this is a haiku.

Sunday, December 11, 2005

Christmas-sy-ness-erie and failure

Today, Coleman and I kicked off Christmas with a good ol' fashioned house fire. Though it might be more exciting if I meant this in the danger-filled, fire-department-involving, somebody-gets-hurt way, all I mean is that we made use of the fireplace. You see -- Technically, we weren't really supposed to be using the fireplace at all (on landlord's orders), but we figured that if the contractors had put all that effort into building a freaking fire-resistent hole into our living room, then we better god-damn-well use it. Plus we had a bunch of mail flyers and boxes and... a t-shirt lying around, and we needed to clean up a bit.

Coleman looking awed. Or just excited, cause we were burning shit.

Coleman, no doubt yelling something ridiculous...

Awwwww... we're so wholesome.

Look at all that freakin garbage. Isn't is crazy how you can make shit disappear with just a little bit of fire? Hm... Maybe this is how arsonists think...

And then Alisha and I watched National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation.

Also, I gave my room a quick post-exam clean-up cause it was getting a little disgusting. I'd been leaving all my laundry on the couch, since I was too lazy to fold it every time I did a load. This had been going on for awhile, cause I think I'd been picking my morning clothes out of this pile for at least two "couch-fulls" . So anyway, I actually folded it all and found that, as I was shaking the wrinkles out of a few articles, a couple little bugs flew out. And you know what kind it were? Earwigs! Those little ones with pinchers sticking out of their poopers! (Not that it should matter to most people what type of bug is flying out of their clothes... Any time that you find one of the lowest forms of life living within your umkempt clothes, you tend to question your place in the whole hierarchy...) But yeah, I know: EFFING DISGUSTING! My clothes had been there so long that earwigs had started living in them. Needless to say, I was much too lazy to wash them all again, so I just shook all the rest twice as hard, and threw them into my drawers. So what? I hate laundry much more than I hate bugs. Plus, I could freeze the earwigs with canned air, which provided for some residual amusement from the whole affair.

So like I've said, I just finished up with the bulk of my exams. Man -- I've gotta say that it is such a relief to be less dependant on coffee. My sleep hours had been insane. In the two nights before, I'd had 3 and 2 hours of sleep respectively. Why, you ask? Because I had 3 exams within a 24-hour-and-1-minute period, which sucked. Sucked balls, even -- because, had I had that many within a 24-hour period, I would've been able to defer one, which would have rocked immensely.

But I didn't, so I wrote the effing exams, having only 3 hours of coffee-fueled sustenance with which to study for my last exam in the between-time after the preceding one. To commemorate this low-point in my academic life, I fashioned this shirt during the incoherent daze of that morning:

Though I failed in many ways that day, I did succeed in staying true to the shirt. And that little bit of success kept me sane. OK -- slightly sane. Had I been completely sane, I wouldn't have thought that I'd seen all those tiny little bugs flying around my room while I was studying (though my laundry might validate their existence). And I probably wouldn't have seen those nonexistant people turning the corners ahead of me, only to turn it myself and find empty halls. And I certainly wouldn't have killed that hooker. But like I said, that small sense of success in living up to the shirt allowed me to feel a little better, cause -- hey --at least I hadn't wasted a perfectly good shirt for nothing... All I'd wasted was hundreds of dollars in class fees...

Public service announcement to the French (best read in an exaggerated accent):
Wear deoderant. You'll wonder where de odour went.

Yet another benefit to being named "Max Power":
You can be hanging out in bars with friends and make comments like, "I'd like to see her on Max Power". I also opens up many other opportunities to speak in the third person, which is my second favourite person to speak in.

Also, everyone should start listening to "The New Pornographers". Their song "The End of Medicine" comes highly recommended. So listen to it. Twice.