this is my dull life. this is my dull life on drugs. this is a haiku.

Monday, January 09, 2006


I just shaved off a chunk of skin in the vicinity of my carotid artery. I'm off to go improv a band-aid by a wad of toilet paper onto my neck... I thought I'd blog it first, since it was one of the most exciting occurences in my otherwise noneventful day.

Except -- oh yeah -- Coleman got a pneumatic-electric-automatic telescope thing for Christmas, so we took it out to the backyard to take it for a test-drive.

Let me just say this: If anyone makes any cracks about Coleman and I going star-gazing together, then I might just have to break some legs. Maybe if I call it something less -- how to put this... -- something less suggestive of homosexuality... then it won't sound so bad.
How about "sky-ogling"? No... still not right.
Maybe... "star-glaring"? Or better yet, "star-glowering"! Yes... that'll work. The term conjures the image of two dudes standing in the back-yard -- arms crossed -- frowning up at the sky and drinking beers. "Star-gazing" brings to mind two people lying on their backs, shoulder-to-shoulder with their bodies pointing in opposite directions. Definitely not what we planned to do...

So we went outside to star-glower and, after discovering that we lived in a brightly-lit city from which only the moon and airplanes are visible, we turned Coleman's $200 telescope away from the sky and towards the windows of our neighbors -- Our distant, across-the-valley neighbors.

It was kind of like Hitchcock's Rear Window. Except we only looked at parking lots, a cieling fan, and a lady at her computer.


Come to think of it, it was nothing like Rear Window.
Like I said, my day was uneventful...

Oh dear. I seem to be bleeding onto my shirt.
Where's that masking tape?