this is my dull life. this is my dull life on drugs. this is a haiku.

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Things I've learned while washing tupperware

Ok, first: Read the title. Ok, now read the following:

So I was cleaning out a tupperware sandwich contai-- Bah! An intermission story! I'm sitting in the TV room and the window's open, and all of a sudden a big rush of wind came through for a second, then stopped just as suddenly. Knowing my physics, I know that, since our apartment is constant volume and assuming constant atmospheric pressure and temperature, the only way this would happen was if something was to open up for air to escape through, such as a door (PV=nRT, bitches!). I went to check and Bert hasn't come home. This makes the aforementioned event sort of bizarre. All I can guess is that someone assumed that the house was empty and the door was unlocked (it's the middle of the day and I should be at work), so they tried to break in. Maybe they heard the music and left... Sketchy. Or maybe I'm just paranoid!

So back to tupperware: I was just washing dishes and learned a valuable lesson. Again, there's a physics (or maybe chemistry) theme in there somewhere... probably something about the root mean velocity of molecules. You see -- theory tells us that temperature signifies just the AVERAGE velocity of all those crazy molecules of the substance. There are actually many molecules of the substance that have higher and lower energies -- so it's kind of like some molecules can have higher individual temperatures. In this case, the substance I speak of is water. Hot water. Scalding, in fact.

The tap water in our apartment is for some reason exceedingly hot. It pretty much evaporates as it leaves the faucet. So what I did, thinking I'd be safe, was fill the tupperware I was rinsing with this ungodly hot water. Then I shook it. Then all of those wonderful above-average molecules -- those above the temperature that happened to be pretty damn close to boiling -- broke free from the confines of their solid state and attacked me. The tupperware exploded and scalding hot water drenched my forearms.

As I screamed like a small child, I realized that I'd learned a beneficial lesson in applied chemistry. Hopefully the redness will go down and I won't have to brush up on any beneficial lessons in applied medicine. First-aid, that is...

Life is truly a journey.

**Update: I was reading up on the UN in the great outdoors this morning trying to get a tan and I burnt. Ouch.