Ok wow. So some of the keys on my keyboard were sticking and, not wanting the random keystrokes to register with the computer, I walked to the other side of the room to sit down and pull some of the keys out, clean em, and test others. I did one, then looked up to see that all the shit I had been "typing" was making it to the computer. So I said "Fuck this" and went to my room on the other side of the apartment. I thought for sure that this had to be far enough, since usually if I do so much as lean back in my chair with the keyboard on my lap, the signal doesn't make it past my knees.
I came back after maybe 10 minutes of removing keys and lubricating them with my own spit, only to find that my account had logged out with the "Switch User" button and that I was on the WELCOME screen. After switching caps-lock back off so that could put in my password, I found that a bunch of search, internet, and file folders had openned themselves up. Also, somehow I'd sent this text message to some dude named Jamil's cell phone:
Somewhere in there I said "buuj", "forf", and "qwerty". Not quite the completely works of Shakespeare, but I think it'll do. I don't know who this Jamil guy is, but my guess is that he's gonna be pretty confused next time he looks at his phone.
And I think it's worth noting that by this time -- after writing this post -- the same keys are back to sticking again. Maybe they need more spit...