A few things about me that you may not have known
Well, it's been a few days already, so before these few days turn into an exceptionally long dry-spell, I might as well say something. Anything, really. So here goes...
I was not alone in the womb.
Yeah, that's right, people. Through those long trimesters of development, as I was maturing into what would one day be birthed as seven pounds and some-odd ounces of organic joy, I was not alone. It would be a whole lot cooler if the truth were some type of sinister secret, such as being womb-mates with a devil-child who was immediately burned -- but such is not the case. The simple fact is that through the whole pre-natal ordeal, I was accompanied by an empty placenta.
Yep. That's all. I know what you're thinking: "BOOOO-RING."
And I couldn't agree more. I imagine that being in utero with an empty placenta is about as much fun as being stuck in a small room for 9 months with a corrugated cardboard box. Or Stephen Harper. Sure, an empty placenta might seem fun at first -- just as boxes can be to children for several minutes -- but in the end, all you've really got is an empty space that was made to contain something, but doesn't.
So yeah, I was born, and the placental evidence seemed to indicate "Hooray! Twins!", but then they opened them up and one placenta said "BABY!" and the other said "Psych!"
So here's the second part of this very special things-you-may-not-have-known-about-me feature: I've got a little scar on the left side of my chest, right above my armpit.
Back in grade 10 or 11, I somehow came across this little hard bump in the aforementioned area. Being the determined lad that I am, I started poking and picking at it. Before I knew it I was digging at it with a pushpin, bleeding profusely all over the bathroom. And lemme say -- though I didn't know what this thing was, it was WAY in there. We're talking mesodermis here -- Maybe even endodermis -- down in the layers where the skin gets fibrous.
So anyway, after at least a half hour, I finally got this thing out. At first, I thought it was a little rock or something, but then I looked closer. What it actually looked like was a tiny little tooth -- a molar -- complete with the hollowed out center and the twin bumps that molars have. So I was like "cool", and I put it in a pill bottle and brought it to school to show all my friends, cause I mean, hey -- what else was I going to do with it?
So how do these two Pat-facts relate? Well, they don't really... but I can hypothesize.
What I think happened is that when my twin and I were both little fetii, he used to come over and chill at my crib sometimes. He knew it was against the rules, but he was the rebel-type, y'know? Then one day he came over with some brew-dogs and got really wasted and couldn't find his way back out... And... then he bit me... and he died.
Wow. Enough of this. I'm at the library and it's time to get back to work.
On a side-note, road-trip this weekend was AMAZING, so I'll have some pictures up at a later date. Over and out I'm done.