this is my dull life. this is my dull life on drugs. this is a haiku.

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Another thing to do if I were feeling evil.

I don't know what's with all these evil posts in a row. Should I be concerned? Dah well -- I'll just get out all of this belated teen angst :)

Take a puppy, and tie a kite onto its collar. Then wrap a bow around its neck. Then buy it a ball for it to play fetch with. Sounds pleasant, right?
Take the puppy outside to play with it for awhile. Then throw the ball in the direction of your friendly neighborhood electrical sub-station.
The end.

In theory, this could work for a small child as well, except that I don't believe that small children enjoy playing fetch quite as much. I suggest substituting the ball for something that appeals to children... such as... Pokémon cards or... POGS? They're still hip with the kiddies, aren't they?


So I was at Toys R Us today, indulging my inner child, when I saw this big honkin' thing of construction paper. I mean -- I wasn't feeling too much like doing crafts, but for eight bucks, how can you go wrong? I'm sure my future holds many crafts in store for me. So I reached to pick it up, and lemme say, this was not just your average booklet of craft paper. This was a solid brick of good ol' fashioned, all-American, 400-page construction paper, made especially for bulk-buy consumer whores such as myself. In fact, rather than "booklet", it'd be more appropriately called a construction paper encyclopedia. Keeping in mind my ineptitude with respect to all approximations of volume, dimensions and weight, I'd say that this thing clocked in at a good 15 lbs.

I'm definitely going to pick me up another one of these when I get to be a parent, cause I'm thinking it'd serve dual purposes: 1) Useful during craft-time with the kid, and 2) a fine substitute for a baby-sitter -- I could just huff this thing on top of my child and I'm sure they'd be pinned for several hours. But what am I talking about... "pick me up another one of these"? I'll probably have the same one, in all its child-crushing splendor, still perfectly suitable for any and all the crafting and constraining that I see fit.


So hurrah, it's that time of the week again: OPEN MIC NIGHT!
Aaaaaaaand... LOST! I'm finally caught up, except for the 10th episode, which is airing again tonight, so I'm all up ons this.
And after OPEN MIC, I'm going to head out early to go over to Burke. I guess people are going to be over there hanging about, so I'll join in. Plus, Craig's heading home this Monday so I want to make sure I see him a bit before he trucks er' back to the Q-dot.