Things I think about while looking at my foot

If something is really slow, there should be a benchmark. Like for something really fast, it's the speed of light, but there's no set rate for the slowest. In my opinion, the low end of the scale should be the speed of toenails. They're pretty fuckin' slow. I colored my big toenail with permanent marker last November, and I just realized that I can still see specks less than halfway from the quick of the nail...