this is my dull life. this is my dull life on drugs. this is a haiku.

Saturday, May 28, 2005

Complaints, some PS's, and some in-between stuff

OK so I got off work way early yesterday for once, and spent the whole day until like 3 running around and buying crap in a rush of fanatic consumerism. So by the time I got home at 3:whatever, I just wanted to sit around and do nothing. It was so nice out so I just took out the windows -- OK this remind me... Time for another exciting installment of:

Installment #2:

The Windows

So this is probably a little bit our fault for not checking it out, but it's still outrageous anyway. You see, we get free heat, so I figured that it wasn't necessary to check out the windows since we weren't going to be paying for escaping heat anyway. Come to think of it, I bet that the free heat is just a scam to keep potential buyers from noticing the windows. I guess I just took it for granted that the apartment we were buying had windows that locked. You know, basic home-security is something that I assumed was included with the place. Silly me.

But no. The "windows", as some would call them, are no more than sliding panes of glass. Like on a trophy case. Except trohpy cases have locks. You can slide them open just as easily from either side. In fact, hardened ciminals probably see my whole apartment as some sort of elaborate trophy case -- Wide open for the taking. On boring Friday nights, while hanging out with their hooligan friends, they're probably like:

Ruffian #1: "Hey, let's go rob that trophy case!"
Ruffian #2: "But aren't the tenants clever and devilishly handsome?"
Ruffian #1: "Yeah... but it serves them right for living in a trophy case. It's a good night for a-plunderin'!"
Ruffian #3: "And let's urinate in their dryer!"
Ruffian #1 & #2 (in unison): "Good idea, Ruffian #3!"

So yeah, needless to say, I worry about stuff getting stolen. After all, I've got a lot of important stuff, such as my digital camcorder, digital camera, computer, 19" TV, and 24: Seasons 1 & 2. And oh yeah, Bert's got some stuff too that would suck if it was stolen. Well... the stuff itself wouldn't suck (because some thief would have some cool-ass loot afterwards), but the situation would.


So yeah, I slid the panes of glass out of their tracks and pulled our upholstered recliner chair out into the front yard. I'd picked up a few books by Kurt Vonnegut (based on the words of Ian and Raph) at the library the night before, so I just layed out on the front lawn along side a fairly busy road in our chair, reading and sipping cool and refreshing water from my Alexander Keith's bar glass (stolen from Bridie Molloy's on my Birthday night). It was a nice day, and I was tired, so I fell asleep by accident after maybe half an hour, and stayed that way till about 6. It was actually really nice out, so it was comfortable, even though I had really fucked up dreams. That tends to happen when I take naps through the day... My nap-dreams after pulling all nighter are REALLY messed. Like usually I start to fall asleep and have weird quasi-dreams where I hear people talking or moving beside me, but when I roll over to see who's there or say something, there's no one there. To tell ya the truth though, I'm not altogether sure whether I'm even awake when I look over. Fucked up dreams, I tells ya.

So that day, Bert and Ania came home and found me asleep on a recliner in the front yard, but they said I looked too comfortable, so they left me there. The end.

You see, I'm at the point where there's lots of stuff I want to say, but I'm all backed up! I can't talk about the stuff that happened last night till I say what I wanna say from last week!

Eff this. I'm outtie.

I made a macaroni casserole with hot dogs a few days ago.
I was pretty proud.

PS - Anyone seen the Mott's Clamato ad on TV? It consists of text telling you that the commercial is too racy to show on TV, and that you can see it at (Coincidentally, the Mott's site is also down. Hm...). Hopefully this whole ripping-off-the-Carl-Jr's-Paris-Hilton-ad thing doesn't become the cool thing to do. I like my commercials to be available on TV right in front of me. If I wanted to have to get up to complete my television viewing experience, I wouldn't use the remote.

PSS - Oh and I put together a
photo tour of the house we're looking at getting for the fall. It's $1600 a month, heat and light included, and keep in mind that they're renovating/painting it right now. And oh yeah... probably a good time to mention that I'm not going back to residence in the fall... :(

I was finally convinced by Ashley, Alisha, and Coleman about how great moving out will be... but I am going to miss Burke sooo much. My plan was to keep this secret and just show up the first day and keep telling people I was living in different room numbers. So that way, if they said that they went to room 305 and someone else lived there, I could just say, "305? No no no it's not that one... I foget the exact number but it's... ya know... that one in the corner. Yeah, that one." I was gonna sleep on couches, unoccupied beds, and floors until someone put two and two together and realized that I didn't live there anymore. But I felt bad having to continue lying to people when they were asking "Are you going back next year?", so this is me telling the world that I am now a Burke House alumni... So sad. I don't want to think about it anymore... :(