What if...

Know what I wanna do? Go to the supermarket and buy two bull testicles and put 'em in a plastic baggy. Then I would carry them around with me so I could have them on hand at all times. That way, if I came across any guy doing something stupendously fruity, I could inconspicuously pull out the baggy and empty the contents onto the ground. Then I'd go, "Hey! I think you dropped these." and I'd pick up the testicles and toss them to him or into his car or whatever. And then I would run. Or curl into the fetal position and try not to absorb most of the punches with my kidneys.

I decided I wanted to do this while walking home yesterday. There was this tough-looking dude stopped at a red light, sitting in his "pimped out ride", as some might call it, with his arm hanging out the window. The funny thing was, he appeared to be attempting to maintain his tough-guy image while being completely oblivious to what seemed to be VengaBoys music blaring out of his 10x amplified, subwooferred... hydrolic... car audio system.

Here's a sample of VengaBoys lyrics, just to give you an idea (but imagine it put to a beat full of sound effects and peppy clavica synth music):

... Big Boy Showing Of All Around The City...... Still The Same For Such A
Suite...... Thinking You're So Bad...... Hustlin' Girls, Handy Phone, Acting
Like Your
Busy...... Baby Let Me Tell You, You're The Worst I Ever Had...
[Robot Voice:]
... Superfly Superfly...
... Superfly Slick Dick...
... Superfly Superfly...
... Superfly Slick Dick...
[Robot Voice:]
... Superfly Superfly...
... Superfly Slick Dick...
... Superfly Superfly...
... Superfly Slick Dick...
... Highbrow Attitude, Really Don't Impress Me...

- Excerpt of Superfly Slick from "The Party Album" CD
by the VengaBoys

PS - I Image-Googled 'pimped out ride' for a picture to go with this post, and found this. It doesn't fit, but I like it, so it stays.