this is my dull life. this is my dull life on drugs. this is a haiku.

Friday, January 07, 2005

The End-Row Movie Dynamics Hypothesis

Ok, me and my brother somehow got talking about how crappy it is to be the one on the end of the row at a movie or what have you. I mean, that guy always feels left out and he only has one person to talk to.

BUT then I got thinking, it's almost as bad to be the one 2nd from the end, because then you need to assume the responsibility of the person who has to actually talk to the guy on the end (even if they are immensely irritating or have ridiculous body odour). The job is yours no matter what. You can't just lean to the other side and talk to the next person in, because then you feel guilty because you feel it is your obligation to talk to the end-person.

But wait, there's more clever insight. The key person is the 3rd person in, because they wield all the power. They can do one of two things. They can lean toward the two at the end, forming an end-trio if you will, and thereby alleviating the awkwardness of the pair. The other option is to completely ignore the duo and lean the other way, leaving those two to make uncomfortable conversation with one another for the duration of the feature.

So really there are only 3 important seats in the end-of-row scenario. Ideally, to avoid any disagreeable situations such as these, it would make sense to have rows of 5 or less, but 4 would be best.

Fin. this is so awesome, I should publish it... or something.

Oh and PS, Pinky the cat (male, domestic short-hair) is MY pet of the week.