this is my dull life. this is my dull life on drugs. this is a haiku.

Thursday, January 13, 2005

Friend Test, etcetera

So today in dining hall, we had stuffed chicken breasts and I had a bunch of extra stuffing when I was done eating. Naturally, I did what most would do: balled up a little bit of it and stuck it in the inside corner of my left eye. I then went over and sat down across from Louise (Louis? Louse? Whatever, it's pronounced Lew-ee), Natasha and Alicia, and proceeded to start up a conversation. My theory was that any true friends would tell me that I had a large piece of stuffing in my eye. Evidently I had no true friends in the immediate vicinity. To make it worse, Natasha said after that she thought it had been eye snot. If Mahatma Gandhi saw Adolf Hitler while walking on the beach, and Hitler had an eye snot, don't you think Gandhi would tell Hitler? I think he would. Gandhi would probably get a few punches in too, but that's beside the point.

And you know what? I didn't realize it before, but you can actually tell whether someone is looking you in the eyes (plural), or whether they are just looking you in the eye (singular). I wouldn't have noticed it if I hadn't been looking for it, but it was very obvious. I will now exhibit more caution when talking to people with lazy/glass eyes, because I know that I used to focus on one eye in those situations. I don't want to make them even more self conscious. One time I felt really bad when I was being served by this older lady at KFC who had a lazy eye. She asked if she could take my order, and I didn't know if she was talking to me, so I looked over my shoulder. Not one, but both shoulders in succession, in the exaggerated movie way. I was the only one there. I got really embarrassed right after I did it.

I think that there should be some kind of indicator to show which eye is the eye they use. Like maybe there could be a little red sticker beside the good one, or they could circle it. Again, the insensitivity shines through, but it's allowed because my Dad has a lazy eye. It only does it's thing when he's mad, so it acted kind of like an indicator light when I was growing up. I knew to lay off the arguing when his eyes started to cross.

Well, over and out I'm done. If anyone's wondering, I haven't died. For some reason, I just haven't been turning on MSN lately... but I'll start!