this is my dull life. this is my dull life on drugs. this is a haiku.

Friday, January 14, 2005

My Plan B Picking-Up Strategy

I'm not the kind of guy who would normally get the guts to outright hit on a girl at a bar, but if I did, I'd definately have a backup plan for if things went bad. She'd probably say something like "Are you hitting on me?" or "I'm married" or "I have lost all sensation in my genitals", to which I would reply with a sarcastic sneer, "You think I'm hitting on you?? Listen, I'm absotively, posilutely gay. Look, I'm already with someone." And then I'd wave to Coleman on the other side of the room, and he'd wave back with a goofy Coleman grin cause he has no clue what's going on. So I'd turn back to the girl and say, "In fact, you're ugly. And I'm gay, so I know these things." And I'd stick one of those black women head-shakes in, just for good measure (You know, the kind of head-shake that you might think a girl named Bunifah would do). And you know what? She'd be crushed, cause she'd have to believe it.